Could have been, probably will be, probably never will be

Could have been - it would have been my mum's 80th birthday today, had she lived to see it. Sad that she didn't, and no mistake.

Probably will be - back to work at the weekend. I had my 'rebriefing' today, including a simulator session, the first time, incidentally, I've used one of the simulators my company were so keen on a few years back for training and knowledge consolidation purposes, but which never have been used to their potential, for various reasons, mostly financial. I got through 'satisfactorily', which is the best 'rating' the briefer concerned ever awards, as he told me afterwards, and will probably be seeing my manager tomorrow for a 'quick chat'. That, I'm expecting, will just be a 'rubber stamping' exercise before I'm let loose on the unsuspecting world again. To say I've got mixed feelings about the prospect is a considerable understatement.

Probably never will be - in the arms of anyone like the absolutely delightful boy I saw on the way back from my briefing this afternoon. The school summer holidays have evidently begun here in Surrey, at least for some of the schools, and this particular boy was walking the same way as me as I headed to my accommodation. He was initially 20-30 yards in front of me, and the back view, tallish, coltish, graceful, light brown, not quite fair hair was entrancing enough. He then crossed the road, and I gradually caught him up over the next quarter of a mile or so, until I was almost level with him, maybe a step or two behind, but on the opposite side of the road, by which point it was evident that he was one of the best looking boys I've seen in many a long day, not quite 'DBJ', but 9/10, at least, and just at that 13-ish cusp of perfection, a year ago and he probably would have been too 'little-boyish', a year hence and he might well be too grown up, but now, he's just at that apex of beauty that I find totally mind-numbing. I was hoping he'd walk all the way down to where I was going, but, sadly, he disappeared into a side street, and, no doubt, out of my life forever. For all that, I'm grateful to have had the chance to admire his beauty for five minutes of my life, and in a way that was no threat to him, either - I very much doubt if he even knew I was there, plugged into his music player as he was. Delicious, and I make no apology for saying so.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B