My wife is back in Cornwall for the weekend - there was nothing she immediately needed to in the Midlands, and she had work stuff she needed to deal with yesterday, given that, on the basis of 'Sod's Law', this week has been the one where her job has been transferred from the old organisation to the new. As might be expected, given how close she's always been to her family, she's been finding her mum's death hard to come to terms with, but the way her grieving has precipitated has been a bit unusual. I have no doubt that the 'archetypal' grief of loss will come to the fore at the funeral on Tuesday, but, at the moment, she seems to be more upset that she's not been able to be around to help her new 'team' settle into their routine. It's a displacement thing, maybe, worrying about work issues to distract herself from thinking about her loss. I've been trying my best to help her as much as I can - we talked for several hours last night - and it certainly hasn't been a totally sombre scenario, in that we've been trying to leaven the situation with some light-heartedness, but I'm finding it a bit disconcerting that more of my support has been needed in talking to my wife about her job, rather than her mum and her family. Still, whatever she needs, and I'm able to give, give I will. She might not know everything there is to know about me, but that doesn't change the fact that I love her.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Grieving is an interesting process. I know when my mother died suddenly, I couldn't/didn't feel much of anything. I was worried about leaving things undone at home when I traveled to be with my family. As you suspect, it all may come to a head as it did for me: at the funeral.
ReplyDeleteShe's lucky to have a loving husband to listen and support her. My thoughts are with you and your family as you navigate this time of sorrow.
Peace <3
Jay
Grieving affects everyone differently, sounds like this work thing may help her deal with it from the distraction. I could be reading it wrong though.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your loss.
Hello Jay and anon
ReplyDeleteAll I can do is be here and give the best support I'm capable of, whatever form that support might take. I'm trying not to forget my daughter in all this, too - she has, superficially at least, been coping fairly well up to now, but she's never been to a funeral before, so there's no precedent to suggest how she might react. I'm here for both of them, whatever.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B