My wife had to go to Exeter today in connection with her work, and wanted to travel up on the train, so I ended up with her car, having taken her to her office this morning, my car still being hors de combat. This tempted me to take a trip I've been thinking about for a while, but hadn't got around to. And, after the way it went, I wish I hadn't bothered.
I set out, with my daughter for company, knowing that there was 90% or greater chance that I would end up being disappointed, but the degree of disappointment was what came as a surprise, even to me. It just underlined quite how attached I'd become to, I suppose, an image, an ideal, and how that ideal had infiltrated itself into my emotions. And how deeply, ultimately, I'd fallen in love as a result.
In case anyone hasn't worked it out by now, I went to where I used to work, hoping to see DBJ, maybe for one last time. And, needless to say, I didn't see him. And I was gutted.
A lesson learned, I think.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
P.S. There have been a few late night, possibly Chardonnay fuelled tears. I miss him so much. And I'm still in love. I know that probably just makes me a sad bastard, but I can't help it.
SB
How did you explain the trip to your daughter?
ReplyDeleteHello Brian
ReplyDeleteShe knows about DBJ, and how I feel about him, although she's never actually seen him - she knew what I had in mind, I think, before I even told her where I wanted to go.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B