Sunday 7 August 2011

The Gordian Knot

Alexander the Great managed to solve the puzzle of the Gordian Knot with some lateral thinking, cutting through the supposedly intractable tangle rather than attempting to untie it. I get the feeling I could do with something equally drastic to help me deal with the maze that's living in my head at the moment. Less than 24 hours ago, I was teetering on the brink of despair, yet this afternoon, like the most hopeless of addicts, I was back sighing over another cute 12/13 year old on the train back from work. Can't live with it, can't live without it, as I've said before. I just wish sometimes that I had the slightest idea of what to do, how to find a solution. Maybe there isn't one to be found, perhaps that's why it all gets so impossibly frustrating, why I'm prone to taking out those frustrations on myself. I hope I can find some way of coming to terms with myself before something, physical or mental, breaks as a result.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

P.S. I've just re-read the blog post that sent me into a tailspin last night, and another related one that's appeared today, feeling that I ought, in some way, to make a comment on one or both of them, but I can't find any way to do it that isn't focused on my issues, which would be totally inappropriate, in my opinion. I'm rather ashamed that I can't get past my own reactions, but get past them I can't.

SB

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