Friday, 9 March 2012

More twists than a soap opera

I hope nobody thinks I'm making this stuff up, because I'm finding some of it hard to believe, and I'm living it. This morning began quietly enough, the only slight ripple being my wife reminding me, rather coolly, as she left for work, that we still had to talk about our situation, and its implications. Then I had a little breakfast time treat - as I was in the kitchen making coffee, CBW boy, dressed for school, looked out of his window for a few seconds, looking down in my general direction as I looked up at him. He is such a cutie, and even a brief view of him like this morning's is more than worthwhile.
The general calm and afterglow of seeing the boy didn't last long, though. Just before 10:00, the phone rang. It was my wife, in tears. She spoke, and I had to ask her to repeat what she'd said. She did. She'd just resigned from her job. While this wasn't a total surprise, given the attitude of her management over the time she's been with the organisation since her job was transferred to them last summer - they've been doing everything they can to force her out, because she was transferred on a higher rate of pay than the current people wanted to pay for the post - it does throw a very large grenade into our lifestyle, because even if I worked every single day, which I'm not allowed to anyway, there's no way I could make up the difference financially. She's going to take advice on employment law to see if there's any recompense that might be available, for 'constructive dismissal', or whatever, but that's not something we can rely on.
Just under an hour after her phone call, she was back at home. Her unexpectedly early return, and the fact that she'd regained most of her composure by the time she arrived back, led to the anticipated 'talk'. About us, and what happens next. I repeated much of what I'd said to her on the phone last Saturday, that I loved her and cared about her, and felt a commitment, a responsibility to look after her, and our daughter, in accordance with the marriage vows I'd taken, while she told me how she was struggling with the concept of my being married to her while wanting, in her view, something different, to the extent that even the idea of my fantasising about anyone else was, in a way, being unfaithful to her. The upshot of it all seems to be, at least at the moment, that we're going to try, particularly in the face of today's other development, to find a way to go forward amicably, together for the moment, but with the possibility of parting further down the line still not ruled out. A messy compromise, I suppose, but at least something to work with. In the same way that one of my immediate reactions to what happened last Wednesday was a sense of relief, I think my wife must have felt some lightening of the load, because we even found some humour in one or two aspects - there were a few laughs, albeit with a slightly melancholy edge, perhaps.
So, more discussions to come over the weekend and into next week, financial, housing and employment issues, as well as just relationship things. Maybe my first sentence was superfluous - you couldn't make this lot up, could you?

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

6 comments:

  1. Things sound like they are going pretty well, actually, much better than I would have expected. She just needs to now hit the pavement and find a new job that pays better, one in the field where she used to work. She must realize that necessity must overcome her dislike of that profession.

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  2. Hello Brian
    A mixed bag of stuff, really, although admittedly a lot better than I would have expected myself a week or so ago. We're going to be perusing the employment websites over the weekend, and see where it goes from there.

    Love & best wishes
    Sammy B

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  3. Sammy

    I'm sorry to hear about your wife's job - I'm sure this is one of the last things you wanted to happen. Best of luck with the job-hunting. Good luck also with trying to get compensation - I'm not sure how a "constructive dismissal" approach works when someone has resigned from a job, even after much provocation.

    I'm glad to hear that "the talk" turned out positively. To be honest, it's the outcome that I expected, but it's still good to see it happen. I hope things continue to settle down.

    Take care

    Mark

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    1. Hello Mark
      My wife has been so unhappy with the circumstances surrounding her job for virtually the whole time she's been working for the 'successor' organisation that it's almost a relief to me, as well as to her, that she's 'jumped'. Having said that, of course, it means that our already very leaky financial ship is in grave danger of foundering completely. We've had preliminary discussions about how we're going to deal with things, although, needless to say, nothing has been decided yet.
      As far as the 'us' thing is concerned, things could certainly have been far more traumatic. Again, nothing is yet ruled in or out, but the fact that I haven't had to head back, homeless, to Surrey as I'd envisaged in my 'worst case' speculations is certainly welcome.

      Love & best wishes
      Sammy B

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  4. Well, a mixed bag. I hope she is able to find employment relatively quickly, and perhaps fend off those bad effects. I do understand her situation - I was booted once just before I did the same thing, for much the same reason.

    I think about you and your situation often, and hope and pray for the best all the way around, for all three of you. So far, some good, some bad. Sounds like life.

    Peace <3
    Jay

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    1. Hello Jay
      An eventful day, and no mistake. My wife's job situation was another of those accidents waiting to happen - they wanted her out, and I have no doubt they'd have done their utmost to find a way to push her if she hadn't jumped. The relationship stuff, as I've said to the others, is going about as well as I could have expected in the circumstances - we're by no means 'out of the woods', but things could definitely be a lot worse. Your good wishes are greatly appreciated.

      Love & best wishes
      Sammy B

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