The lovely boy I saw in the West London pub yesterday afternoon looked familiar, although I knew I'd never seen him before, and, eventually, I worked out why, the explanation throwing an interesting sidelight on the 'born this way' issue. He bore more than a passing resemblance to the boy who was my best friend at primary school when I was 9 or 10, a boy who left the school when his family moved away. To say that I was upset when he left was an understatement - I was absolutely devastated, and missed him horribly for months, if not years. I was almost a complete innocent, in a sexual sense, at that age, and certainly had not the slightest idea about the implications of same-sex attraction, but, with hindsight, I don't think there's much doubt that I was 'in love' with my friend, in so far as a child of the age that I was then can be in love. Evidence, maybe, albeit anecdotal evidence, that I was gay even before I knew what being gay meant, rather than my having 'chosen' my orientation at a later date.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
I'd never believe that you chose your orientation any more than I chose mine!
ReplyDeleteI remember a best friend moving away, although it was only across town, when you're 9 or 10, that might as well be another planet. Then we moved closer, and mom took me over to visit one Saturday. It seemed like we'd never met before, and things simply weren't the same. I think I mourned for the first time in my short life when I got back home that evening. I wasn't sure what I'd lost, but something wasn't there any more.
Peace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
DeleteI'd thought about the boy concerned a few times over the years, wondered how he'd turned out, where he'd found himself, but I hadn't thought about him for, probably, decades until Thursday. As you say, if I had met him again at a later point, or even now, nothing would be the same, assuming he would even remember me at all. Another bifurcation, lives moving apart from each other until they're utterly different from what could have been if circumstances had been a few percentage points different.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B