Calmer, but mired in indecision

The title says it all, really - I'm much more chilled than I was earlier, perhaps helped by a moderate dose of alcohol, but I'm back into the quo vadis mode I've spent much of the recent past inhabiting. Even a year and a half after the fracture that ended my old life, I still don't know what I want to do, or even where I want to do it. A little exchange with my boss at work this morning illuminates my present situation - he asked me how I was, and I made an ironic comment about being delighted to be at work. In equally lighthearted vein, he asked me what else I would be doing if I wasn't there, to which I gave the telling reply - 'I'm still trying to work that out'. One day, I feel like I should stay where I am, maybe to give my daughter the chance to come up to London, as she's indicated she'd like to do, for her further education, the next I feel desperate to go back to Cornwall, while the next I feel like running away to much further-flung, sunnier climes, which, in my case, would probably mean Gran Canaria. Wherever I go, though, the elephant in the room will be around relationships - knowing that what I really want is almost certainly unobtainable, can I bring myself to try for another 'second-best', given how disastrously the last one ended? Another unanswerable question, or so it seems.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B