I'm now more than halfway through my 'summer holiday', and it has to be said that I've achieved almost nothing that could be remotely considered to be 'positive'. I have done a bit of cleaning in the flat, but only stuff that had been put off for too long, and then, only because K had a friend staying over last night, but, otherwise, I've just been meandering about, feeling sorry for myself, and drinking too much. The 'feeling sorry' bit was rubbed in all the more today, because it was almost a reprise of yesterday, with cuties around almost from the time I stepped out of the door to the last bus back home - 'last boy' was 14-ish, and, I'm sure, easily old enough to have made his own mind up had I had the balls to ask 'the question', which, of course, I didn't. So far, so predictable, but the deeper question is, as ever, unanswered. What, if anything, can I do to escape from the corner I've painted myself into? Would that I knew.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
I think when you are on holiday, you don't necessarily need to accomplish anything. Even if there is a list. Sometimes especially when there is a list.
ReplyDeleteI am taking an extra day off this coming weekend so the boy can come over for Thursday night and Friday (he is off school for those 2 days). I have a list. He has a list. We've vowed to get at least one thing on each list done. To heck with the rest. It's holiday!
Saw a lot of eye candy this weekend! Dunno why Ohio and West Virginia were so full of it!
Peace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
DeleteI didn't have any real plans for this time off, but I equally didn't intend to descend into quite the miasma of self-pity I've been inhabiting for too much of the last week. The eye candy has been a double-edged sword, too - as ever, I love to see the cuties out and about, but after their few seconds or minutes in my ambit is over, and I'm back to the company of the contents of my head, their inaccessibility is hard to come to terms with, even if appropriate in most cases, because the majority of them are simply much too young. I never want to hurt anyone, but by toeing society's line, I'm tearing myself to shreds. Better me than someone else, of course, but it doesn't do much for the quality of life factor.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B