....and after a few hours sleep, I still feel really down. This feeling, though, is much more to do with internal, rather than external things, the news about DJ is more a focus for sadness and discontent that was already there than the cause of any problems.
To me, DJ isn't just another blogger who's come and gone, but that's certainly no fault of his - I'm the one who's managed to get myself overly attached to the young man, and I'm the one who needs to deal with it.
Perhaps it's time for me to go, and concentrate on issues in my and my family's life that I might actually be able to have some substantive impact on, rather than sitting and moping. I certainly need to seriously assess whether my staying in blogland will do more harm than good, for me and for others.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
I can't see how you being here in Blogland can harm anyone else. You will have to judge it's effect on you. If there are things you can do to enhance your life and that of your family, then you certainly should give those a higher priority than blogging. But when you run out of other things to do, blogging is certainly a way to spend some time and it might have a beneficial effect on you.
ReplyDeleteHello Brian
ReplyDeleteI haven't decided what to do yet, but I definitely need to think about the pros and cons. Thank you for your concern.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Sammy... I know exactly how you feel. Believe me... It's tough and probably hard for some to understand... DJ is the kid that every guy should want as a son... There is no sweeter or more giving kid out here.
ReplyDeleteI want to tell you something that I should- DJ specifically mentioned you and Brian in his communications with me... He wanted me to tell you guys how sorry he was that this was happening so quickly. So, there's that...I started to write personal emails to everyone, but thought a post would be a better send off for such a good kid... He seems genuinely touched that I did, and has thanked me for doing that...
Also, rest assured, he is safe, and seems genuinely excited that things are happening in his life that are positive. They are family things that I'm not sure I should talk about, but, they are happening quickly, so he felt the need to take these actions quickly. It is NOT a reaction to anything bad in his life. In fact, just the opposite.
He also expressed an interest in returning one day... I would say that there's a good chance of that, but that is just my take on this. He didn't like the 'finality' of a last post, and I think the angst around the closing of Gabe's blog might have had something to do with that. You know DJ, Sammy-- he's ALWAYS thinking about other people's feelings!!
Find comfort in that! Be strong, for him. He doesn't want blogs to close because his life is getting better. That would really send the wrong message... love, tman<3
Hello Tony
ReplyDeleteI've got back from work this morning to find an e-mail that's made me feel better about things, although there's still an undertone of sadness. I still don't quite know where I'm going from here, but I think the balance of probability is that I'll still be around, and I almost certainly won't delete my blogs - I'm far too much of a hoarder for that!
Thank you for passing on the news of DJ, and for your kind words of friendship and support - I really do appreciate it, even if I might come across as a navel-gazing miserablist at times.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Is everybody leaving now? Or more importantly, the important people? You, Sammy B, shaped blogland to what it is. You might not realise it, but it's clear as day to everyone around you that if it weren't for people like YOU, DJ, Tristan Strangebrew, Brian, Larry etc. then there wouldn't be somewhere safe for people to get a glimpse of real people or to see a perfect world for a few moments every day. People need you.
ReplyDelete-JJ
Hello JJ
ReplyDeleteYour words are kind and flattering, but I don't want you to get the impression that I'm any kind of altruist - my main reasons for being in blogland are selfish ones, to get stuff off my chest and to hopefully find some help and support, which I've been lucky enough to do. If I can help anyone with my words, I'm pleased to do so, but that, if you like, is a beneficial side effect rather than a primary aim. I know you've read my 'Censorship' post of yesterday, so you'll know I'm sticking around - selfishness again, but I do enjoy blogging, most of the time, at least, so it would take quite a lot to get rid of me.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B