This morning's difference of opinion between my wife and I came after our daughter had gone to school, but, unfortunately, this evening's 'round two' wasn't so private. We went over the same ground, all over again, ended up at loggerheads, again, but, this time, the girl was all too aware of what was going on. She knows, and has done for some time, that we're struggling financially, and she knows about the tensions between my wife and I that arise as a result. When I went to say 'goodnight' to her, though, it all got very intense - as I've said before, she's aware of the 'hidden' me, and the combination of that and her knowledge of the problems between her parents led to her being really upset. I hugged her for at least 10 minutes, and tried to reassure her, but it's hard to do that when you're so uncertain of your own direction in the immediate future. I'm so sorry that my daughter has been caught in the crossfire, I love her so much, but you can only protect your children up to a point - real life doesn't always fall into place as you would wish.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
HUGS to you, Sammy, it sounds like you need them as much as she does. It's awful that she has to overhear it all, but it is hard to hide things like that from the kids. My household was living proof. but we got through it (well, mostly them, I was living out of the home by then), and to use an overused cliche, it does get better.
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Since I chose the name "Quinquagenarian Acecedarian" as my blog name, I thought I should google the words to verify if I was completely original (as I suspected) or, in the case, not so much. Yours was the first blog that came up in the search and I found it compelling reading and I feel a great deal of compassion for you. It is also timely as my blog post today was about things being temporary - a great thing when that which proves temporary is painful. Not so great when the contrary is true. One thing for certain is the permanent YOU gets to choose that which is temporary and looking back...aren't there times that proved a blessing to be temporary rather than falling into place as you had wished? I know there have been times like that for me...poor choices that seeme so "right" at the time. I can say with a degree of certainty and without knowing how old your daughter is, She Knows. Damage has been done. From her teachers she has already learned how TO or NOT TO be married. What you can do for her is: be accountable, available, authentic, vulnerable, real. Mistakes are part of life. Not owning them can kill...relationships. Best of luck to you. Sincerely, KB
ReplyDeleteHello Jay
ReplyDeleteI think my daughter helped me at least as much as I helped her yesterday, not for the first time. Hugs, even virtual ones, are very therapeutic - thank you for your support.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Hello Karen
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting my blog, and for your kind words. Life is full of transience, as you say, is transient in itself, in fact, so that, ultimately, both the highs and lows are temporary. The trick, I guess, is to try and make sure the lows pass more quickly than the highs.
My daughter is 13, very bright, and very mature for her age, but still with a good deal of the vulnerability of childhood. Whatever else happens, she knows I'm always there for her, and always will be, as long as I'm alive.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B