Saturday 24 March 2012

Connecting

Very briefly, very tenuously, no prospect of a sequel, but a connection it was. He looked back, the cutie looked back, when there was no obvious reason for him to do so. He was walking past the front of the pub while I was sitting outside in honour of today's warm weather, a pace or so behind his father (presumably), wearing a replica shirt of the local lower league football team, so a local boy, almost certainly. I looked, he saw me looking, and he smiled, just a little. I smiled back, in the same understated way. He'd passed, gone out of my eyeline, so I turned in my seat for a last little glimpse - and he was looking back at me! Just curiosity, I'm sure, as to why this fat old git was paying him some attention, but even that nebulous almost nothingness has been a noteworthy landmark in the desert of loneliness and frustration that I inhabit. Call me pathetic, I don't care - even though I'll never see him again in any realistic circumstances, and although I know he'd be far too young for any involvement even if I did, that fleeting exchange of looks and smiles, that evanescent moment, was the best 'boy' thing that's happened to me for months, if not years.

Love & best wishes
Sammy B

2 comments:

  1. Nothing like something nice to make your day! WOOHOO for YOU!!!

    Peace <3
    Jay

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    Replies
    1. Hello Jay
      Something nice, but after a few hours reflection, it was probably more in my imagination than in reality. And it once again underlines that what I want, and have wanted for so long, is just unobtainable. So, ultimately, little better than neutral, and maybe even negative. Such is the life of a boylover. And the haters call it a choice?

      Love & best wishes
      Sammy B

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