On my wanderings around the internet yesterday, I was unfortunate enough to come across a site containing a post with various 'Manga' style cartoons depicting boys being tortured. I hate the idea of boys (or, indeed, anyone else), even fictitious ones, being hurt for others' gratification, as I've said before, so I quickly went elsewhere. It wasn't until around 5:00 this morning, at work, that fuller implications of what I'd seen occurred to me. The site I'd stumbled upon was evidently aimed at boylovers, but if you claim to love boys, as I do, why on earth would you get off on images of them being, in some cases, horribly abused? The only saving grace, I suppose, is that being cartoons, no real boys were actually hurt, but I was still left upset by the existence of that kind of mindset. There are, no doubt, those who would instantly accuse me of hypocrisy, who would tell me that what I want is just as damaging as the kind of thing I'm railing against. In response, all I can say is that I really, honestly, don't want to hurt anyone, physically or emotionally. Perhaps that's one of the reasons I have such a difficult relationship with my own sexuality at times, because what I want can hurt, although I still believe, in the right context, that hurt isn't inevitable. Sadly for me, 'society' has decided that man-boy love is totally beyond the pale, that it is never anything other than abusive and manipulative, that the man never has any concern beyond his own sexual gratification. I know, for me, that isn't true, but it seems to be impossible to convince almost anybody that I'm telling the truth. This dichotomy between what the world assumes me to be, and what I know myself to be, is one of the most difficult issues, psychologically, that I have to deal with. If you're told that what you see as love is really hateful often enough, it's hard not to believe it yourself.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
I don't understand those sites either. They have tried to pass laws against it over here, but the First Amendment right to free speech seems to protect it, since no real children are being hurt. People have been charged for possessing it, but they always have real child porn, so that is what they are prosecuted for. I still don't condone it. Why do we need to show any sort of sexual pictures that show people being hurt? How can that be a turn-on? I don't want to hear "to each his own"...sex is supposed to be loving and kind and touching, not pain and torture, even in manga or anime pictures.
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Sammy,
ReplyDeleteI can understand you very well because I just think so about violence. If all the politicians and power people would think so, we would have no wars. But then the industries for war and weapons would not make any more businesses.
Nikki
Hello Jay
ReplyDeleteI have, of course, to be careful in 'throwing stones', given the 'glass house' of my own sexuality, but I feel that anyone who is sexually aroused by hurting others, or by seeing or reading about others being hurt is, as you suggest, completely missing the point. There's certainly, in my opinion, no love involved in sexual violence - sexual love should be, as you say, about caring, sharing and pleasure, not pain, either physical or psychological.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Guten Tag Nikki
ReplyDeleteIt would certainly make for a better world, in my opinion, for people to be nice to each other, whether in a sexual or a more general context. There are, as you say though, so many vested interests, political, industrial, religious, social, to render any such 'happy ending' very unlikely, sadly.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Hello Sammy B. I have two thoughts on your post if you will allow me.
ReplyDeleteOn the cartoon nudes, cartoon drawings of sex, and of the "manga" or Shotta stuff I can't understand why they are considered to be porn, or wrong, or in anyway a danger. They are thoughts. Not real, drawings and doodles, I think we need to punish or control actions, but never censor thoughts. Making ideas, thoughts, off limits, punishing people for maybe will happens or wants,....to me that is barbaric.
On the love you speak. Great care has to be taken on the subject because it is a subject which need...demands great nuance. A teen boy is driven to do sex, his body wants it and is forcing him into it. If the boy is a willing partner I can't see that as abuse ( and I have first hand experiences in being abused ) and most if any harm to the teen will come from societal reaction to the affair. No matter if fleeting or long term, the reactions of the adults will traumatize any minor engaged in sex..they will think sex is wrong and evil or they are for needing it.
There have been societies that have endorsed the love and mentoring of younger teens and older ( some times not so as we would think ) and those civilizations accomplished quite a lot. Right now the countries that are advancing the most have much more liberal laws regarding the body needs of young people. The regressive ones are falling behind in ways more than in this.
Sadly some children are forced to be objects of sexual pleasure for others, some times not even adults. These children need our strong help, and our focus. A 15 year old having a 18 year old lover is not a large concern to me, a 8 year old being USED by an adult enrages me.
Having said all of this, it is a fact I reside in a country getting more and more regressive and pushing its way on the world. It is a fact the laws do not reflex reality, but they are the law and we must obey them.
On nudes, children or adults, I think that we come into this world with out clothes. In my work I see all kinds of human bodies. I see no need to fear seeing any part of it. I cant see simply being with out clothes as a sexual or pornographic thing.
Sorry this became long. It was an interesting topic and I enjoyed discussing it. Thanks and hugs,
Scottie
Hello Scottie
ReplyDeleteThank you for your visit, and your comment.
I agree with you that it's ridiculous that cartoons are treated as pornography in this context. In the UK, many years ago now, there was a campaign to get 'Tom & Jerry' cartoons banned, because they were, supposedly, too violent. The 'sex' in shotacon drawings is no more real than the 'violence' in 'Tom & Jerry', in my opinion, just pure imagination. The aspect that disturbed me, as I said, was the mindset that enjoys seeing images of boys being hurt, even in cartoons, while still self-identifying as 'boylovers'. There's no love in hurting people, of any age or gender, as far as I'm concerned.
As far as man-boy relationships are concerned, I agree that it's difficult, in the current moral climate, to envisage ways of having such a relationship without some deleterious consequences for one or other partner. Anyone, like me, who even admits to wanting such a relationship, still less engaging in one, is instantly vilified by almost everyone as a perverted monster, fit only for emasculation or death, or both. The fact that I'm only interested in a consensual situation, and that I'd never knowingly hurt anyone is simply discounted as my trying to justify the unjustifiable. There are few easy answers, but the overriding principle, in my opinion, is that no-one should be forced to do anything they don't want to do - and I would include forced celibacy in that list.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B