Friday 2 September 2011

Soul destroying

Nothing but a cliché, I suppose, because I don't believe in the concept of souls, but there you go.
It's been one of those days, again. Unremittingly disheartening, in a number of areas, personal and more widely. Our finances seem to have lurched a little closer to utter meltdown, as I didn't receive as much today as I was expecting, although it seems that what I was paid was right, while at least one of our creditors has been merrily moving the goalposts, while telling us that half of our expenditure, even down to having haircuts, are 'luxuries' we can do without - go back to the Stone Age, so you can give us more money. But 'we're here to help you'. Yeah, right. In the way of these things, it led to another acrimonious phone call between my wife and I - I seem to be expected to work every hour going, while my wife still refuses to come out of her comfort zone and use her nursing qualifications, as she easily could, to earn extra money. And then, in the next breath, she claims that it's my 'free choice' to work where I do and as many hours as I do, and that if I don't like it, I should give up my job and go home. As though that's going to solve our problems. Although she denies it, if I did that, I'd give our marriage about three months - and that's before we get into boys, and matters arising.
Speaking of medievalism, another call for justice by vengeance today, from the mother of a 15 year old girl who was murdered by her ex-boyfriend, of the same age. What he did, and the way it was done, was horrible, but by calling for the boy to be executed, the mother, in my eyes, has forfeited any 'moral high ground' she might have had claim to. Where do we go from there? Back to hanging hungry children for stealing a shilling's worth of food? That's real moral progress for you. Who needs The Enlightenment? Hang 'em and flog 'em, it'll solve everything.
On a related subject, the 'raving right' have come up with another brilliant solution to all of society's ills - parachute redundant soldiers into schools to impose 'military discipline'. Of course, all the disaffected kids are going to suddenly become model citizens because some superannuated RSM is yelling at them. If that doesn't work, presumably the next step is to bring back the leaded whip and flog them into submission, and if a few kids get beaten to death in the process, that's just collateral damage. If that's the kind of world these people want, I'd be better off out of it. There is a Plan B, I just have to reach the right depths to enact it. And those depths are getting closer.
And, as an afterthought, and one which was almost pushed out of my mind by the truckloads of crap that landed on me in the first hour after I got up this afternoon, I had a vivid dream about my cousin as a boy, partly erotic, no doubt nudged from my subconscious by the photo I found the other day, and which I've looked at more than a few times this week. My cup runneth over.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

2 comments:

  1. Under the circumstances, it seems imperative that your wife go to work to help get the family out of its financial jam. In this country, nurses make very good money and though most jobs these days are hard to find, there seems to always be a need for nurses. What is her excuse for not getting a job? Perhaps you should insist she do this. If she doesn't, she has no right to complain.

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  2. Hello Brian
    My wife does work, but in a job which requires nothing like the qualifications she holds. She seems to have got it in her head that if she returns to nursing, her health will be detrimentally affected. I think there's much more psychology than physiology involved here - she got very disillusioned with her profession before finally leaving when our daughter was born, and lost her confidence in her abilities at the same time. If we weren't in such dire straits financially, it wouldn't be an issue, but the fact that she flatly refuses to even work odd days through an agency, which is more than feasible, to help dig us out of our predicament is something I find thoroughly frustrating, given what I have to do in my working life. Having said that, I can insist till I'm blue in the face, and have come close to doing so, but I can hardly bind her hand and foot and drag her off to the nearest hospital. It really does seem that she's determined that bankruptcy and eviction are preferable to nursing.

    Love & best wishes
    Sammy B

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