....of pulling myself together. There's no doubt about it. But how? All of the stresses, problems and frustrations that have been weighing me down are still there - even the prospect of going home on Friday for the first time in a month isn't as tempting as it should be, because 'diplomatic relations' with my wife are not in a particularly good place at the moment, and I also know that I'll be faced with a mountain of things to do and no time to do them, with my daughter's Finnish exchange partner due to arrive on Sunday evening.
I've got to try and find a way out of the trough I'm in, because if I don't, I suspect there will come a point where despair really does kick in, and I'll end up doing something stupid and damaging, most likely to myself, but always with the possibility that some innocent bystander could be caught in the crossfire. The platitudinous might say 'Look on the bright side, be grateful for what you've got', which is a nice trick if you can find the 'bright side', but that is rather the point with me of late - the positive is stubbornly absent, even as a distant prospect. I know there are people worse off than I am, and they have my genuine sympathy, but, at the moment, and with apology, I'm going to be selfish, and try and find the chink of light that I desperately hope must be there in my situation.
I'm sorry, to my smattering of remaining readers, that everything has been so relentlessly negative here for such a long time. Thank you all for your patience with me.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Hello Sammy, your blog is an extension of what you are going through in your life, so don't be sorry for including the way you feel. I wonder though if focusing more on what you do have, what in your life is enjoyable, might lighten your sorrows. Hugs, Scottie
ReplyDelete