I've just been reading a post on 'tony's red flash' on his doubts about whether to continue blogging and commenting, and the reasons behind those doubts, and I have to say I feel a number of the same reservations. I was just going to leave a comment on Tman's post, but I've never commented on his blog before, and I didn't want my first comment there to seem cynical and misanthropic, so I've decided to make a post of my own here. I've already said that I'll no longer comment on the younger bloggers' sites except in specific, limited circumstances ('Not one of the good guys'), for a couple of reasons. One is that, like Tman, I don't feel that, despite my best intentions, I've made a difference to anyone's life with the comments I've made. I don't comment with the expectation of reward beyond the feeling of doing my best to help, but, with only two small exceptions, all the comments I've made seem to have disappeared into cyberspace without even creating the slightest ripple. Perhaps I'm expecting too much in expecting anything at all, because from most of the evidence I've seen, the only thing distinguishing GLBT teens from their straight counterparts is their sexuality, with its concomitant problems of discrimination, bullying and the like - for the rest, they're just as self-centred as any of their coevals, just as I was at that age. To make matters worse, the assumption of 'society' at large, certainly in the UK, is that any adult male who attempts to connect in any way with anyone under the age of consent who isn't a blood relative is a potential, if not actual, child molester. Any thought of 'helping' anyone is immediately discounted as a mask for 'ulterior motives'.
As I've said before, I'll carry on with my blogs, because even if no-one else reads them, and I've no right to expect that anyone would, they at least provide me with an outlet for things I can't say in any other way. If that means that I'm destined to remain in splendid (or wretched) isolation in the blogsphere, then sobeit.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Hi Sammy: It's sad that because of the actions of a few bad apples in a basket of apples, the other apples are categorized as being bad too. In other words just because a very few men who contact teenagers are bad, that doesn't prove that all adult men are bad apples. But for some strange reason society prefers looking at the negative side of everything and ignore the positive sides. Just look at the evening news. Whens the last time you saw any positive news on TV? It's all negative news about killing, molesting, stealing, burning or whatever.
ReplyDeleteI heard one newscaster say "if it bleeds, it leads" - and consequently people are being conditioned to believe that because one man is a molester therefore all men are molesters. And that's sad for people to be boxed into thinking negatively about someone. As far as I'm concerned I prefer looking at the positive sides of people. Yeah I realize no one is perfect, but 99% of people have goodness inside them. But the news media would try to have us believe that everyone is evil, that no good person exists. And IMO the only thing that's really evil is the news media itself. And you Sammy along with tman and anyone else who so feels inclined to do so are welcomed with open arms to comment in my blog. I'm wise enough to monitor the comments just to weed out the small 1% of the bad apples while at the same time warmly embracing the remaining 99% of the good apples. {{hugs}} David Andrew Delacruz
Hi there, Sammy
ReplyDeleteI'd suggest you leave a short comment on tman's post, linking to this one, so that he and others can see that you're responding to it.
I appreciate the points you're making. I'm continuing to comment on some of the younger bloggers' posts, for two reasons:
- In some cases, I do get feedback (two bloggers in particular); this is a definite encouragement to continue!
- Otherwise, I comment where I feel I can offer some useful advice, or at least an insight or perspective that might be helpful, or occasionally just where the fancy takes me.
As I commented on tman's blog, I think sometimes it's not the comment contents that have a positive effect, so much as the fact that a comment has been made at all, hence demonstrating that someone is taking an interest in the blogger and his or her life and problems.
I would suggest that you spread your wings in terms of where you comment: there are plenty of older bloggers who would also like some feedback, and commenting on others' blogs is more likely to lead them to your own.
Take care
Mark
Hello Andy
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the time to comment. In my opinion, the news media themselves are not to blame, they just reflect the current state of society. People follow the herd, as a rule, and regardless of anyone's actual motivations, make judgements accordingly. As long as I self-identify as being attracted to boys, I'm always going to be a target, however robust my self-control may be.
Your blog is exemplary in terms of inclusivity and fair-mindedness, and I have no doubt that any comment I might make would be assessed on it own merits, but I'm afraid that you might well be the exception that proves the rule in that regard. Thanks again for your interest.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
P.S. I hope your Macbook gets well soon !
Hello Mark
ReplyDeleteI've been trying in recent days to find a slightly different range of blogs to read, even if I haven't yet commented to any great extent. I got into the blogsphere via 'Twinergy' and, in turn, JJ's blog, which might explain my relatively limited focus hitherto - like most things, I'm sure blogging is enhanced by experience. I will, as I said, comment on the younger bloggers' sites if I feel I've got something worthwhile to say which I think could help, and I'm certainly still reading those that I've patronised so far - I'm hopeful that I might be able to find something positive and useful to say at some point.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Hey Sammy, I have just discovered your blog and I enjoyed this post. I do have some advice for you which may not be easy for you take.
ReplyDeleteI would not over analyze things so much. As long as your comments are not suggestive then you really have nothing to worry about. You would be surprised how beneficial an older voice have on an impressional and confused teen blogger who is a position that we were when we were teenagers.
Hello Ian
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the time to read my blog and the trouble to comment. I've no problem in listening to advice given in the right spirit, as yours undoubtedly is. I have left a few comments on the some of the younger bloggers' sites, even since I said I probably wouldn't, and I will continue to do so if, as I said, I think I can make a positive contribution. I think, though, without wishing to sound pretentious, that the medical mantra 'First do no harm' also applies - I'd hate to hurt anyone.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B