Unlike the melodrama of five weeks ago, I managed to get through to the end of this week of nights unscathed - not that I was expecting anything untoward to happen, but I wasn't expecting the mayhem that landed on me last time, either.
Given that I'm more or less right in the middle of my three week stint at work with very few days off, and that I'm on late turn tomorrow, I decided to come home for the day, even though the travelling is pretty onerous, so I'm actually sitting in my front room typing this post.
My being here was unexpectedly opportune, too, because I'd only been indoors for about an hour when the phone rang (although I was in the shower at the time, and my wife fielded the call), a call which proved to be from my cousin and best friend. We do chat on the phone from time to time, although not excessively often, but we haven't actually met up for over two years. That might change soon, because he and his family could well be coming down to Cornwall for a long weekend in a fortnight's time, which just happens to coincide with my next weekend off. There are still a few loose ends to be tied up, but it would be really nice to see them. From my own perspective, it would be a chance to chat face to face with one of the very small group of people who knows about the boyloving side of me - in fact he knows more about it than anyone apart from myself, not least because he is actually a big part of the story. Being around family, as we would be, there's no guarantee that it would be discussed, but just having someone around who knows and accepts is a big deal for me.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
It's good to back home, eh? Even though it might be a short stay. Hope you manage to see your cousin, it's always good to meet great friends and discuss whatever comes in mind.
ReplyDeleteLove
Daniel
Hello Daniel
ReplyDeleteYes, even half a day at home is worth the effort. It would certainly be nice to see my cousin - phone chats are OK, but they're not quite the 'real thing'.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Truly great, Sammy! That's very cool. I love visiting family, and your cousin sounds special, making it even better.
ReplyDeleteI hear you about someone knowing. I love being around the people who know about me. My gayness never comes up, but I just know that I don't have to worry when I'm around them. It most certainly is a big deal.
Peace <3
Jay
Hi there, Sammy
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear you've managed to get home - I'm sure even a brief visit will help buoy up the spirits.
It's good news, too, about your cousin visiting; I hope you do get a chance to talk to him on your own, because I think your view of yourself has changed quite a lot in these last two years.
Take care
Mark
Hello Jay
ReplyDeleteMy cousin is very special - he's been my best friend for 30 years, give or take, since he was about 11. And yes, it's really liberating to have the chance to be myself, without having to resort to deceit.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Hello Mark
ReplyDeleteThe trip has certainly been worthwhile, both in terms of a change of scenery, and in plotting a path through our financial jungle that my wife and I can reach some sort of consensus on, hopefully easing that source of tension a little.
It will be interesting, if we get the chance, for me to discuss with my cousin where I am now. He doesn't know about DBJ, for instance, an issue which has obviously been pretty central to my life recently. I hope things will fall into place and allow him and his family to visit.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Oh yeah (freshly back from our own hols) I do so agree that honesty with friends is a big thing. We were on holiday with a slightly older gay friend who was one of our 'Best Men' at our Civil Partnership and is someone we've known for yonks. He lives alone and so has come with us each summer for the last few years.
ReplyDeleteAnyway the point is he knows pretty much all there is to know about Pete and me and, I think, we about him. It just makes it so much easier to be able to continue as we do normally and just say and do anything pretty much. Oh yes and that does include pointing out nice looking guys to each other - of course!
Hello Micky
ReplyDeleteI hope your holiday went well. There's no doubt that like-minded and/or tolerant company is a definite advantage, especially when there's so much mindless bigotry about - I've returned to work this afternoon, and it didn't take long for a hailstorm of pejoratives to emanate from one of my colleagues, apropos of what I've no idea. I'm still just about managing to grit my teeth and put up with it, but I can certainly see someone saying something that breaks the proverbial camel's back at some point, especially given my long-standing reluctance to suffer fools gladly, and winning themselves a major tirade from me. Of course, what that might do for my career prospects is another issue entirely!
Love & best wishes
Sammy B