And my 'perversions' under wraps. I'm sure it's all distasteful, if it evokes any reaction at all, to those out there who think they're much, much better than me with my pathetic, unnatural lusts. I'm sure the righteous will get their rewards in heaven, while I'll be damned to torment for eternity, except, of course, I don't believe in any of that stuff, anyway. Any torment that could be devised in some imaginary hell would only be a continuation of the here and now, in any case, just longer lasting. If there was any way I could make the boyloving part of me go away, I would, but, 40 years on, more or less, I somehow doubt that's going to happen.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
It's not about making it go away - it's about finding ways of enjoying it without hurting anyone or getting yourself locked up.
ReplyDeleteInstead of getting all caught up on how awful it is, maybe you could begin to see it as a challenge. The internet provides huge solace for many and, of course, there are opportunities for cyber discussions with folk you'd find it hard to meet any other way.
Loads of us have a sexual/emotional 'kink' of one sort or another - so you're certainly not alone. And no - I don't believe in any of that mumbo-jumbo nonsense they call religion either: they're just pretty unintelligent types who are superstitious.
Hello Micky
ReplyDeleteWhen people have been locked up for possession of cartoons, FFS, there is no way of 'enjoying' it - unless you're a raving masochist who gets off on being hated and vilified, of course. The challenge is to carry on in spite of it all, I suppose - and to convince yourself that any of it is worth it.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Digital 'representations' and drawings (short of 'art') are illegal here in the UK too - and they even threaten to trace where you've browsed on the net and add that to the 'evidence'.
ReplyDeleteBut to be sure it's not very often that ordinary people are arrested here for 'possession' of pictures alone: usually that is simply added on to the charges when someone has got physically involved or whatever.
Sexy pictures of under 18s are illegal in whatever form and so's doing anything about it. That said there's loads of opportunities for getting involved in youth work which might be much better than trying to pretend boys don't exist. It isn't necessary to have underage sex just because we fancy a younger person. Crikey - there are loads of perfectly old enough guys I fancy but I don't stand a cat in hell's chance of having sex with them! Doesn't stop me fancying them in the street or anywhere else!
It's really a matter or deciding whether to keep one's freedom and keep within the law or suffer for the rest of one's life because of ten minutes' of potentially awful lust.
Hello Micky
ReplyDeleteI've got a reasonable grasp of what's legal and what isn't, I think, and I do my best to stay on the right side of the line, although when there are so many things that can potentially be used as 'evidence', that's not always so easy.
I'd never get involved in any youth work - it's not a case of pretending boys don't exist, I'm all too painfully aware that they do, but I see no value whatever in putting myself in a position where I would be subject to temptation, when my everyday life and work doesn't entail that risk. It isn't, as you say, necessary or even remotely likely that you would have sex with everyone (or anyone) you find attractive - 'normal' men don't, in the vast majority of cases, go around trying to have sex with every attractive woman they see, but they, of course, have the advantage of their predilections being socially acceptable, even praiseworthy, which I don't.
Lust, per se, isn't what I would expect to be tripped up by - the one occasion in my life when I came genuinely close to having sex with a boy, over 25 years ago, came about because I allowed myself to be misled by his real affection for me, and mine for him, into thinking that he wanted something that he didn't. Fortunately for me, he was able to tell me (just) before things crossed the line into 'abuse', and I wasn't too far gone to realise that he'd said 'no'. Love (or infatuation, or whatever else you want to call it), not lust, is my 'enemy' in this context, another very good reason for me to stay away from any involvement with boys, as far as I can without being antisocial. There are no easy answers for me, sadly - if there were, I would have enacted them before now.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B