I seem to be in some kind of strange limbo at the moment, as though I'm straddling a series of fault lines in my life, any of which could fracture and change anything or everything. We're not bankrupt, but not really solvent. I'm not ill in any easily definable way, but feel fragile, as though something might break. I'm at home just now, but I'll soon be away again. I'm still closeted, hiding, but that might not be a permanent state. It's as though my life's gyroscope is slowing down, and could fall in a random direction at any moment. It's might not even be a negative change, just the onset of a new thing. I'm in a very unfamiliar place in my life experience, where I don't know what might happen next, and what I might do about any new situation. Indecision, uncertainty, but not in an angst-ridden way. Waiting, I suppose. Waiting to see what's around the next bend in the road.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Interesting. It does seem like you're in some sort of alternate universe. I hope all the gyroscopes fall in the right direction!
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
ReplyDeleteI've written before about the forks in the road of life, about how this decision or that can lead you to an utterly different destination, almost at random. Sometimes, though, circumstances can conspire to push you towards an obvious decision with the knowledge that, whichever path you follow, there will be consequences, even if the exact details of those consequences aren't entirely clear. I'm not at that point yet, and may never get there, depending on what happens in the interim. So I'm not so much in an alternate universe as a superposition of states which have yet to undergo decoherence, I'm like Schrödinger's cat in my box. When the box is opened, I'll end up in one state or the other, but which one remains to be seen.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B