This isn't the post I've been contemplating writing for about the last three hours. What I was going to talk about were matters arising from the two posts I wrote on Monday. The reason I haven't? Mostly that what I was thinking of might have been construed as a personal criticism of someone, and also that I might come across as generally ungrateful to those of you who are kind enough to read, and in a few cases, comment on, my blog. Neither of those impressions would have been true, but I don't want to run the risk, particularly as I seem to have rubbed several people up the wrong way of late. Everything I was going to say is in the blog in any case, just not all in one place. perhaps.
What to say instead? It's been a relatively low-key kind of day - I saw my own manager today, for what seems like the first time since the Restoration, and had a brief follow up from yesterday's events. He seems to be as glad to see the back of it as I am, although it is, at least in part, his fault that it's dragged on for as long as it has. Tomorrow is my last day at work before a five day long weekend, and it will be a clear five days off, too, given that I'm on earlies tomorrow, and lates when I start back next Wednesday, so I won'r be wasting two half-days travelling. It won't be much beyond a chill-out weekend, because we're pretty skint at the moment, even by our standards, and I don't get paid until next week, but we're not going to be starving in the garret, or anything as dramatic as that. My daughter is on half-term holiday next week, so I'll get a couple of extra days of her company, too, which is far from being a disadvantage. Unless she's got plans of her own, of course - she's certainly old enough and sensible enough now to do her own thing, within reasonable bounds, and I won't be standing in her way, if that's the case.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
You have definitely not come out as ungrateful. No way! Now, enjoy your much deserved break.
ReplyDeleteLove
Daniel
Hello Daniel
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words. And yes, by this time tomorrow, unless anything unforeseen happens, I'll be relaxing in the comfort of my own living room. Definitely something to look forward to.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Eh, you're fine, Sammy. A five day weekend would be nice, glad you'll get some time with the family.
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Sammy,
ReplyDeleteDo tell us what's on your mind!
The "... just not all in one place" part is certainly true as I've been bouncing all over your blog trying to find things i *KNOW* I've read previously...lol!
You certainly need not worry that you've rubbed *ME* the wrong way, and you're welcome to criticize me...everyone else does...lol!!!
Now, heres a typically hysterical story from my neck of the woods:
http://baltimore.cbslocal.com/2011/10/19/severn-man-arrested-for-child-sex-offenses/
Fodder for discussion, perhaps?
:-)
-Andy
Hello Jay
ReplyDeleteI'm typing live and direct from my living room, I'm pleased to say. Not everything is perfectly perfect, but I'd much rather be here than not, that's a certainty.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Hello Andy
ReplyDeleteI think most of what I wanted to say was in the reply to your second comment the other day - I know what I am doesn't appeal to many, but that is what I am, and that's the frame of reference I have to work from.
As far as that news story goes, My main issue with the alleged 'offender' was not what he might have done with the younger boys - as long as it was with and not to - but that he used deception to get close to them, by lying about his age. But, yes, the usual hysterical vox pops in evidence, about the 'children' being 'victims' - I certainly wouldn't have been too impressed about being described as a 'child' when I was 14 - and 'God's wrath'. I'm biased, I know, when it comes to this subject, but as long as there's been no coercion involved here, I don't even see it as a crime at all. And yes, I'm well aware that a lot of people would consider me to be completely amoral in saying that. Well sue me, as they (reputedly) say in your part of the world.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Hi Sammy,
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, I don't think I've ever disparaged you for "what you are."
I just think it's inevitable that your desires are destined to go unrequited.
So why keep moping about it?
What not find some "creative" ways to get vicarious satisfaction?
BTW, since I'm single and unattached, I can do whatever I bloody well please, when and wherever I choose...I understand that you do not have equal freedom as me.
But you have created your own life; even if you regret your choices, there's not much to be done about it now, is there?
IMO, there are too many "woe is me" bloggers out there wishing they had lived their lives differently...tough shit!!! It's too late for that!!!
As for the news story, we have been have a spate of sexual incidents, kids acting out, in our schools recently.
I chalk it up to Victorian attitudes and Christian fundamentalism...you folks across the pond seem to be much more open minded regarding sexuality.
About the story in the link, I find the perp to be rather handsome (though he looks underatndably unhappy in the pic.)
Maybe he would like a conjugal visit...lol!
:-)
-Andy
Hello Andy
ReplyDeleteThis was why I backed off from what I was originally going to say in this post - that what I was thinking of would be taken as being a 'dig' at one or more individuals. I'm not claiming anyone has disparaged me, but I do sense more than a little disapproval from time to time, although I admit that could just be paranoia on my part - being paranoid goes with the territory of being a boylover, we're attacked so often and so vehemently that defensiveness becomes instinctive, somehow, in many cases, including me, probably.
I agree that the chances of my actually requiting my desires are very small, particularly given my age, health and lack of any obvious attractiveness, and it could be said that's probably just as well, saving me from myself, and protecting the boys, too. That said, and as I've said before in the blog, the fact that I most likely never will doesn't mean I never would, if I was in a situation which I was convinced was consensual. In the absence of that very unlikely scenario, though, your point about ways of dealing with that reality is well made. I read (and, indeed, write, in my other blog) stories which deal with my desires, and I find some of them very erotic. I don't look at, or even look for, anything which could be construed as pornographic pictures or video, because I just don't think it's worth going to jail for images, however 'hot' they might be. There is a certain degree of 'vicarious satisfaction' in the stories, though, enough to keep the worst of the frustration away, at least.
I well know that I fall into the 'woe is me' blogging category, too often even for my own liking, never mind anyone else's. The only thing I can say in my own defence is that it acts as a 'safety valve' of sorts, getting stuff out of my system that I might otherwise brood about even more. But, as to my actual situation, then, yes, 'tough shit' says it all - I am where I am, and I've got to find a way to deal with that. This blog is part of that coping strategy, and my primary place to be the 'real' me, so, to echo your words, I'll carry on writing what suits me. I do genuinely appreciate those, like yourself, who come and read, and sometimes comment on, what I've written, but even if no-one did, I'd still almost certainly carry on.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B